Thursday, October 29, 2015

15th October 2015

That date will stay with me for the rest of my life. 

The day the doctor told me I have breast cancer. 

31 years old. 7 months pregnant. Breast cancer. 

Fuck.

Biopsies, blood tests, ultrasounds, needles...big ones. The past couple of weeks have been a bit of a blur. But surprisingly, I feel incredibly calm. Because I know I'm going to fight this.

I never in a million years would expect to hear those words. Sitting in the waiting room with my husband, mother, brother and my little boy, tears were already streaming down my face as I knew something was about to change my life. As the doctor told me the news I began hyperventilating. When you hear the C-word, your mind immediately jumps to the worst possible situation, leaving my husband behind with two small children, one of whom may never meet me.

But I know now that this isn't going to be the reality. After speaking with all the great doctors who are all working together to make sure the baby's day I  are healthy I am more than optimistic, I know I am going to be a fighter and survivor. The cancer hasn't spread and I start chemo before the baby is born. Which scares the shit out of me. This is going to be a journey of epic proportions.

It's funny because before finding out about this condition (I refuse to call it an illness or a disease) I was struggling to keep this blog going, I didn't just want to be another "plus size blogger" taking pictures of the same clothes everyone has, I wanted to have something to say, a purpose. I guess in a bittersweet way, now I do.

Ladies (and gentlemen!), check your breasts regularly! Any suspicious lumps get checked out, it's better to waste 10 minutes of the doctors' time than being told something like this. Don't wait, don't put it off. 

Lots of love 
C xxx
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